Monday, July 9, 2012

Self Confidence

I wrote this a few months back for a guest post on The Writer's Voice, but feel that it is relevant to conversations I have been having with a lot of other writer's recently, so I wanted to share it again, here.

Confidence… it will come!

Hello, I’m Bethany Lopez, and I’m a writer.

I didn’t always believe that I’d be able to make that statement. Yes, I have always loved to write, and English was my favorite subject in school, but my self-confidence was not always there.

I was the quiet girl in school, at least to the majority of students… the people that did not know me. To my friends, however, I was loud, crazy, and always ready to crack a joke. It took a lot for me to be able to open up to others. I moved around a lot growing up and was constantly having to make new friends. I was very aware of being the new girl, or the odd one out, and that had a lot to do with the way I presented myself to others. I had a huge fear of rejection, and that played a big part in my disbelief that I could ever be a writer.

When I was in high school, I loved getting the opportunity to write for my classes. I tried writing a few stories, which I still have in the garage, but I never believed they were good enough. I would write a story for a while, but eventually would just give up.

It took years before I started to build confidence. As I started meeting more of my personal and professional goals, like earning my first degree, raising kids, and getting promoted at work, my confidence began to build. As I began to mature, I started to approach every new person I met as if we were already friends. It helped me to be myself from the first meeting and break the ice.

Being self-confident doesn’t mean that it isn’t hard to put a book that I have created out for the world to see. There are always going to be people who don’t like it or don’t get it, but I’m better able to overcome those feelings and not take it personally. I have learned to focus on the positive and embrace the community of writers around me.

The point that I want to make is that no matter how hard things seem… they will always get better. Other people’s opinions can hurt, but the only opinions that matter are those of the people that know and love you for who you are!


  1. This is a wonderful post, Bethany! One of the things I learned at the UtopYA conference is that nearly all writers struggle with self-confidence. Having the support of our family, friends and peers is truly invaluable. It's great to know I'm not alone!

  2. Thanks, Raine! Yes, we are all plagued with doubt. I think when you are doing something as personal as writing, it's like there is a piece of you in each book, which makes it harder to put our work out there without a little trepidation. Thanks for the comment.

  3. Wonderful post Bethany. I can't tell you how many times I saw myself in it.

    "I started to approach every new person I met as if we were already friends. It helped me to be myself from the first meeting and break the ice."
    I love this! What a great approach.

    1. Thanks, wordsinpurple. I'm so happy that you enjoyed my post and found it relatable.