This week, I'd like to introduce you to Sam. :)
I’m twenty-two years old, wear a size twelve, and am a single mom.Things that don’t make me the mostpopular girl on campus.
I live in family housing.
It’s cheap, has a washer and dryer, andmakes it a little easier to juggle going to school full time while raising a two-year old daughter.
Her name is Karrie, and she’s the smartest, funniest, and sweetest person I’veever met. I never imagined I’d be pregnant at nineteen, let alone raising a kidby myself. But, I guess life doesn’t always go according to plan.
At least that’s been my experience so far.
When I went away to school, I wasyour typical first-time-away-from-home, irresponsible and crazy party girl. I had a blast my firstyear. Didn’t go to many classes, and partied way too much. You’d think that waswhen I got knocked up.
Mysophomore year I straightened up. After a series of long lectures from myparents, and the arrival of my final report card for my freshman year, Irealized that I was making a lot of mistakes. I started actually going to myclasses. I stopped partying every night, and only went out with my friends onthe weekends.
Things were going great, then one night I met this hot guy at a frat party andwe hooked up.
That was all.
No great love story, no budding relationship.
Just a one-night stand.
When I found out I was pregnant, I was scared and devastated.
It had been six weeks since the party that changed my life. I’d beenfeeling nauseous and really tired. It wasn’t until I got lightheaded in theshower that I decided to go to the doctor and see what was wrong.
I wasn’t prepared for the diagnosis.
I felt a myriad of emotions that day: disbelief,
anger, sadness, andfinally, terror.
I worried about what I’d tell my parents, and what it would mean for myfuture. But first I had to share my terror with the one person that I assumedwould feel my pain. I went to the frat house and told “the guy” that he wasgoing to be a father.
He laughed, and said I was mistaken. He had no intention of being a father toanyone.
I had expected disbelief, and possibly anger, but I’d never expectedthat. He said no matter my decision, he didn’t want to be a part of the baby’s life. He told me not to even put himon the birth certificate.
I eventually told my parents and they were surprisingly supportive.
“Don’t worry, Sam,” my mother had said as she cradled me in her arms.“Everything happens for a reason. Your father and I are here to you and ourgrandbaby. You aren’t alone.”
My mom took me to all of my doctor appointments and helped me get onthe waiting list for family housing. By the time Karrie was born, I had oursmall home in order and ready for her arrival.
I thought I was ready and knew what to expect.
I was wrong.
The past two years have been the most challenging years of my life. I’ve learneda lot, and am a better mother and person because of it. But I’m tired… andlonely.
The friends I used to hang with are living the single life. I’ve madesome new friends here, but we all have kids, and they're our priority.
About once a month my mom takesKarrie for the weekend, and I get the opportunity to have some alone time. Iusually clean up the house and take advantage of the quiet to do homework, butsometimes I go out.
I learned my lesson though. Ihaven’t had sex since I found out I was pregnant with Karrie. Not only am Istill carrying around some excess baby weight, but the thought of gettingpregnant again is terrific birth control.
I’m not saying I never date oranything, I’ve gone on a few. But I never go past a couple dates, and I’ve neverintroduced any of them to Karrie. No way am I bringing random guys into herlife.
I’ll hook up. I love that feelingthat comes from first kisses and anticipation, but any real satisfaction hascome at my own hand. Unfortunately, I’ve gotten really good at pleasing myself.
I miss the touch of a man, but onthe upside, I found my G-spot the other day.
I hope you enjoyed the teaser. You can check out the other blogs participating in the hop here: